Gonna put your eye out!

Estee Lauder and Lancome have put out battery powered oscillating mascara. Each vibrates at 7,500 and 7,000 oscillations per minute.

Apparently, this gizmo is in high demand and limited supply. Women are on waiting lists and production is around the clock to produce more.

Can't get one? Feeling inferior because your lashes are not as "defined, lifted and separated" as they could be, Dollface?
No need to attempt to wrinkle your frozen botoxed brow in sadness.

I have an idea, let's get a troop of folks with DT's to apply the regular old mascara to your eyes. Yes! That's the ticket! This way we are helping those who are struggling with alcohol abuse to put their affliction to good use. If they are unwilling, most retirement homes have enough people with the shakes to fill in. They will be happy for the company and you can eat jello and hear stories of the "good old days" when cold cream was all the beauty you needed.


What's next, high powered auto lipstick cannons?
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