Online dating "don't's"

Just received an email via an online dating site that opened with this.

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL FOR 35......

Hmmm...thanks?

I find it best not to YELL IN ALL CAPS, but also leave out this phrase you are beautiful for "insert whatever thing could be negative" like "old" or "fat" or "missing teeth".

I think it best to let this particular prince find another maiden to woo

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Bird Sitting - Day 10

Bird sitting Day 10. Birdie likes me again - hates vacuum, door bells, and jazz tunes with a sax.

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Ping Pong Dominance Guaranteed!

I know how the US will dominate in Ping Pong. All we need to do is convince the IOC to add sneaking beer and making out while our parents are upstairs to the mix.

Go USA! Go USA!

Breaking Celeb News

Clay Aiken fathers a child. Air traffic controllers reporting plane/pig near mid-air misses.
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Way to go Iliza!

Iliza won LCS!

Sort of sad that she was asked how it feels to represent women comics. I think she was a bit startled by the question and she answered well. Just goes to show that women in this world are not quite there...yet.

Jeff will be fine in spite of third place. He is funny and certainly attractive, so TV will come calling. I hear he is being called "the cute one".

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Gonna put your eye out!

Estee Lauder and Lancome have put out battery powered oscillating mascara. Each vibrates at 7,500 and 7,000 oscillations per minute.

Apparently, this gizmo is in high demand and limited supply. Women are on waiting lists and production is around the clock to produce more.

Can't get one? Feeling inferior because your lashes are not as "defined, lifted and separated" as they could be, Dollface?
No need to attempt to wrinkle your frozen botoxed brow in sadness.

I have an idea, let's get a troop of folks with DT's to apply the regular old mascara to your eyes. Yes! That's the ticket! This way we are helping those who are struggling with alcohol abuse to put their affliction to good use. If they are unwilling, most retirement homes have enough people with the shakes to fill in. They will be happy for the company and you can eat jello and hear stories of the "good old days" when cold cream was all the beauty you needed.


What's next, high powered auto lipstick cannons?
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Derek. Sheen

I just got home from the Capitol Club where they have a comedy show every other Sunday night. I caught Derek Sheen set and am blown away. He killed.

I have known Derek for a few years and always liked him personally and as a comic. I wish more people were there to see it. I am sad that no one was taping it. He demonstrated what this scene is about with smarts, biting commentary, perfect timing and a distinct voice.

Incredible!

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Prom

Just got home from Lizzie's Birthday/Prom at The Deca Hotel.

The party was a blast. I wish my original prom was this much fun. Of course, my prom was on a boat, my BFF flirted with my date, and I came down with the stomach flu, so my standards were low.

Fun night!
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Why I love my neighborhood

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Makes American Idol look like Masterpiece Theater

The G4 channel has a game show that involves speed eating and stunts aimed at causing contestants to barf. The show, "Hurl" debuted this week.

The "winner" is the contestant who can hold it in the longest. The next show to debut is " Foot Fungus for Fun and Profit" followed by "Used Condom Volleyball Championships".

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Sign of the times

I was pandhandled by a young woman for "food or gas money".

Next, I expect to hear, "Spare change for my mortgage payment?".
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Last Comic Standing

I get asked a lot about what I think about LCS. I watched it last night and wonder if Jeff Dye is going to win.

Does he have years as a road comic who can spout of one dick joke after another? No. Is he a veteran of commercials or pithy comments on TV clip shows? No. Does he make funny voices or run around like a sugar crazed 8 year old at an unlimited cupcake party? No.

Then why could he be the winner?

He LOVES what he is doing and it shows. He has so much obvious joy in it that it pulls an audience in. They fall for him instantly.

Every time I have spoken to Jeff or seen him I knew he love comedy. He doesn't seem analyze every punch or tag or freak when he eats it . He loves comedy. Period.

Will see if the public feels the same and if he walks away with it.

Final note: if they went to the trouble of showing crowd shots of his parents, the producers must feel he is a strong bet.
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Beautiful morning

The rain has cleaned the air and it is a beautiful morning in the city. The ride over the lake should be lovely.

It is Seafair Weekend. Boats are arriving at the log boom, the Blue Angels are practicing and the city is gearing up for parties and noise. I love how we cram some sort of street fair or festival into the summer weekends. Its a sprint from Folk Life to Bummbershoot. We power up on outdoor pursuits to make the short days of winter more bearable.
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Maybe I have it wrong?

Sleep is not my friend tonight. It happens, am feeling a bit under the weather, so it is to be expected.

Have been thinking that maybe I have it wrong. Maybe day-to-day life is a series of monotonous tasks and boring meetings punctuated by interruptions and fire drills. Maybe we are all chasing some ideal that is fiction, at best.

Perhaps it is better to look for the random and beautiful moments of light, humor, and connection rather than some sugar-coated image of "happy" as the normal state of things.

I