Dear Redwoood Patrons,

Dear Redwood Patrons,

Yes, you are interesting and posses infinite quantities of "cool".. I know this because you look like you stepped out a Pat Benetar video (not "Love is a Battlefield" because I doubt Red Light has WWII aviator helmets, but you get the point), even though you were not yet born when MTV played Pat Benetar videos (or played videos, for that matter).

I also know you are cool because I live across the street from the bar and am lucky enough to observe you in your natural drunken element. Of course, my level of cool and interesting has peaked, (circa Linda's, Moe's, and Eileen's (RIP) ) so the lessons of your hipness is lost on me. No problem. I appreciate the example you are so desperately trying to instill with your skinny jeans, shaggy hair, and heavy black eyeliner, but feel your message of what it is to be so hip is better served by not screaming as you walk down the block at night yelling at the top of your lungs after said bar closes. Sadly, your message is dulled as those of us that could most benefit are trying to get some f&*)ing sleep.

Thanks in advance for your time and inattention to this matter!

xxooxxoo